Today I finished reading a book called “Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture.” Let me start by saying that raunch culture is something that has long fascinated and confused me. In a world full of Purity Balls, abstinence-only “education” (scoff, scoff), and the most important gauge of a woman’s morality being her mystical magical virginity, raunch culture seems to be a healthier, happier alternative. I think sex can be beautiful, funny, wild, and strange, and it is okay to talk about it and celebrate it for all of its aspects. That said, this book and I agree that that is not really what raunch culture is often about.

Paris Hilton has been quoted as saying that she isn’t really a very sexual person. Female Chauvinist Pigs (FCP, from now on) points out that in her famous sex tape, she seems more involved in posturing for the camera than actually enjoying the sex. While Brittany Spears writhed around and looked “sexy” in her music videos, she was revered for not having sex at all. Why is it that our greatest sexual icons are not actually people who are enjoying sex? The answer is that raunch culture is not about enjoying sex at all.

The sexual revolution and feminism were once intertwined in a way that made sense. Feminists said that women are sexual beings and should be allowed to be. Women’s pleasure mattered too. Because of these ideas many women in sexual industries today claim to be feminists. Interestingly enough, however, this is wrapped up with a lot of rhetoric about being “like men.” They are strong women who “have sex like men,” “date like men,” “run their businesses like men” etc. If women are not inferior to men, as feminism dictates, then doing something like a man shouldn’t equal doing something in a way that is better.

Raunch culture is about fake breasts, fake orgasms, and overall fake enjoyment. It is about getting the approval of men, and joining in on the supposed fun that men have by objectifying ourselves. It is about the same thing as purity balls are- being valued based on our bodies above all else. Saying that the best thing we can do is “have sex like men” is not only insulting to women, but also insulting to men. What does “like men” mean? Like which man? Tom Cruise? Tom Hanks? Nathan Lane? My grandpa the Rabbi? Or are we to believe that all men are inherently like Howard Stern, so to climb the ranks of a male dominated world we must try to fit into his ideals of a perfect woman? Raunch culture seems to promote that all men are sexist perverts, and a woman’s strength lies in her ability to climb the pervert ranks.

In high school I remember making out with a friend who I was not attracted to because we knew it would get us male attention. This made us the cool girls- the girls who weren’t uptight. The girls who “got it.” I think we actually thought we were making a statement against heteronormative values, though we never would have had it not pleased the heterosexual males in the room. I look back on those moments now and I cringe. Raunch culture is everywhere and its hard to avoid and to not become a part of.

Up until now my thoughts have been clear. But now I have a question. What is the line? No, I don’t want to see the posturing one-sided view that makes up 99% of mainstream depictions of sexuality. But I do think sexuality should be represented as it is a complex and important part of humanity. I think its okay to shave my legs because my boyfriend wants me to, even if it means I’m changing my appearance for a man. I think its okay to dress “sexily” sometimes when I’m going out to a bar, because it makes me feel good. And no, I don’t think it gives anyone the right to treat me with disrespect. But is there a difference between that and wearing a playboy bunny outfit and getting fake boobs to please a man? I think there is, but again I say…where is the line?